King County Wants to Tell YOU Who To Vote For!

Our right to elect a violent, delusional felon to the mayoralty of Seattle is in jeopardy. If you care about freedom, read on.

King County, the Seattle Times, and probably the high priests of the Bilderberg Conference are conspiring to keep local insane person Omari Tahir-Garrett out of the mayor’s race.

Why? Because his form of political protest makes the Manuneasy. In 2001, Tahir-Garrett expressed his political views with ACTION–by sneaking up on then-Mayor Paul Schell and striking him in the face with a megaphone.

Step aside John Kerry. Omari Tahir-Garrett truly knows how to “Bring It On.” Democratic Party–are you paying attention?
The State convicted Tahir-Garrett of a felony because of his protest, and now, because of that felony, he can’t run for mayor again. You don’t have to be stoned to see this conspiracy.

In an email to the Seattle Times, Tahir-Garrett responds with the lucid prose that has won him comparisons to Thomas Paine (the punctuation is Tahir-Garrett’s):[my] rights are not defined or proscribed by EUROPEAN SETTLER COLONIAL TERRORIST ESTABLISHED INSTITUTIONS HERE IN THE ‘INDIANS’ HOMELAND!

Actually, unfortunately, Tahir-Garrett is wrong. His rights are defined and proscribed by European settler colonial terrorist established institutions, such as the Constitution. Which is why he won’t get to run for mayor.

But if Tahir-Garrett can’t run, maybe his son Kwame can. The younger Garrett became something of a local celebrity in the early 90’s when he decided to drop out of middle school and call it a political protest, claiming that the school district didn’t provide enough inspiring African-American role models.

(Coincidentally, we had been boycotting the NBA for an analogous reason.)

Following in the footsteps of dear old dad, the younger Garrett ran for office in 2004, and polled nearly 13% of the votein a two person race.

Perhaps it won’t be long before “Tahir-Garrett” is spoken in the same breath as other dynastic political families such as “Bush” and “Clinton.”


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